Twelve / Twenty Six / Two Thousand and Eight

In the grand scheme of things how do you say no to hope? Today’s thoughts have been running a muck on my internal. What is it that I want? Simple question no doubt, but often the simplest of things turn out to be the most complex contributing factors of stress. Who are we not to become what we’ve always wanted to be? Life is too short to doubt your every step if it means losing out on great opportunities to be something more. I am really beginning to see the connection in this lately. I’ve virtually been going through, I guess, a sort of mid-life crisis. I know I have said this before. It is almost as though I’ve been living vicariously through the lives of my friends. Supporting and congratulating them on their various achievements and milestones in life. But inwardly I find that it only tends to make me feel lonelier. A striving ten steps forward to only fall at least emotionally three steps back. I am giving the likes of my support as I seem to “moonlight” as a motivational speaker, but the amazingly oxymoron like thing is that I fail to support myself enough to move beyond inward doubt. I am starving to be brilliant if there is such a thing. I know I have it in me. I envision myself as successful and thriving in all aspects of life. But there is something, somehow I can’t be honest enough with myself to admit. Hmm...But I haven’t placed a finger on what just yet…

-a